A while ago I earnestly talked about my perceived inability to follow through with all the things I want to do, my lack of motivation compared to a surplus of ideas. That’s still all in the back of my mind, but since identifying it and trying to engage with it things have felt different. I’m starting to realise that I can do what I want after all and things are actually pretty good.
Let’s look at it: the other weekend I made a game with a friend. A whole game! We’re going to do more; we even have a web site in the works. I recorded a song a little before that. It’s not the best recording in the world but it’s there, finished, all done by me and I have ideas for the next couple. I have been offered to write a few reviews for an online magazine and I have just agreed to start as features editor for Nukezilla.com. There hasn’t been much happening lately on the improvisation front, but there are several things coming right up.
This is just the stuff that is actively going on with me right now. I think it’s fair to say that compared to many people’s spare time mine is relatively full - and that’s not even mentioning the good times I get to spend with friends and friend-like people, just doing things I enjoy. Sure, I may not always use my free time in the wisest way and I could be said waste an awful lot of it, but I look at that list of activities and think that actually I’m doing pretty damned well. When I’m already involved in plenty of things shouldn’t feel bad that I have to keep a dozen or so projects on the shelf.
So: my free time is good. Now to deal with work.
